Building Children's Confidence in Our Private Kindergarten In Maryland

There is a kindergartner who comes into the office once or twice a week, just to give me a hug. He walks in with a huge smile on his face, arms outstretched, confident that he will be received with pleasure and appreciation (and he always is!!).

Not long ago during morning assembly, the gathering room was arranged differently than usual, with chairs set up for our Open House. One of our second graders, a shy and somewhat anxious person, came up to ask me where she should put her bag, as the normal 2^nd grade place was not there. She didn’t know what to do, but knew how to solve her problem. She was confident that I would help her without making her feel badly about not knowing.

During that same assembly, one of our 6^th graders stood before the entire elementary student body to describe a trip he will be taking this winter break to help children in El Salvador. He asked for donations of sports equipment and clothes to take with him. He spoke loudly and persuasively, fully expecting the respect and attention he received from the students.

How do we foster confidence in our children? How can we get them to believe in their own abilities to further their learning, problem solve, and interact positively? I think of confidence as similar to self-esteem: it is not something that parents or teachers can give to a child; it has to be developed through self-reflection, trial and error, failure and success. Confidence is one of the “attitudes” that are promoted by the IB/PYP and by Seneca Academy. Possessing confidence can lead to other positive attitudes and attributes such as independence, effective communication and risk-taking.

So what do we do to foster confidence? I think the most important thing we can do as adults is to ensure an environment that is “safe” from shame and ridicule. This will allow students to freely demonstrate curiosity and risk taking. Next, we need to facilitate developmentally appropriate opportunities for children to try new skills, experiences, interactions, and perspectives. They must be real experiences, where achievement is meaningful. Creating pretend situations where “success” is guaranteed is a ploy that most kids see right through.  As positive reinforcement has been shown to be the most effective in shaping behavior, supporting even small successes during children’s attempts and minimizing focus on the mistakes (especially in younger children) is the most beneficial way to build confidence.  As children get older, providing opportunities to consciously learn from mistakes in a non-judgmental way is also helpful.

Often times I think we as parents try to protect our children from failure or mistakes in an attempt to preserve their confidence. But if they don’t have experience “failing” or making mistakes, how will they build the confidence that they can overcome failure? How will they know that making mistakes is not “the end of the world?” I think it is by remedying our mistakes and overcoming failures that we build our own confidence as adults– which makes it so important to support and encourage our children through the same process.

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348
 

On Authorization...

In the couple of weeks since Seneca Academy received the notice from the International Baccalaureate Organization (IBO) that we are finally authorized as a Primary Years Program (IB/PYP), our focus has been on advertising and marketing; getting the good news out to everyone we can. Throughout all of that though, I’ve been reflecting on what authorization means to me, and to the school.

I think this recognition from the IBO primarily provides validation: of the hard work we have done, and the accomplishments we have made. It means our teachers, administrators and students have lived up to a long list of standards set by international experts in education. 

But this authorization hasn't changed us significantly since we received it. We started on a journey when we first applied to become an IB/PYP school 4 ½ years ago, and we have come a long way on that journey. As a result of our efforts over the past years, our students are conversant in the learner profile (http://www.ibo.org/programmes/profile/) and the attitudes we promote, are comfortable asking and answering conceptual questions, and are more knowledgeable about the wider world. Our teachers regularly plan together, and are creative in finding ways to fully engage students in the learning process. Our Parent Association is focused on ways to integrate global awareness and multi-cultural activities into their events.

However, our journey isn’t over. Seneca Academy has always promoted lifelong learning, which is supported by the IBO. We will continue to routinely be reflective of our practices and strive to enhance them. Receiving the IB authorization at this point in time is much appreciated (and exciting) confirmation that we are on the right path, and is recognition of how far we have come. It is encouragement to continue on our journey, and we will.

Fundamentally, Seneca Academy has been implementing the Primary Years Program for some time now; authorization now gives us permission to trumpet that to the world!

PS. We would love your help with that trumpeting so please feel free to spread the word!

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348
 

Changing Education Paradigms

Last weekend the Seneca Academy Board of Trustees met for our annual "retreat." As part of an educational workshop I lead with them, I showed this video of Sir Ken Robinson's 2006 speech on changing education paradigms. The trustees suggested I post it for all to see. Although it is several years old, it is still so relevant! It was animated by RSA in 2010 which makes it fun to watch. Enjoy!!

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_changing_education_paradigms.html

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348

Children will follow your footsteps...

“Children will follow your footsteps before they follow your advice” Author unknown

September, and the start of a new school year, is such a wonderful time of beginnings!  More than in January, for those of us connected to the education world (including students), this is a time of “new year” resolutions – “I will use these new school supplies more efficiently, organize my time more productively, communicate more effectively, eat better, exercise regularly…”

I’ve been thinking about the best way to help our children to follow through with their school year resolutions and achieve their goals. It occurs to me that the first, and most important step, is to be good role models for them. As we think of each goal we may have for our kids, we need to carefully examine what they are seeing in us that is guiding their way.

If we want our children to be organized and ready to learn at school each morning- do we present them with an organized and ready example? Or do they see us rushing around, trying to find car keys, routinely forgetting lunches, etc.

If we want our children to finish their homework (or other responsibilities) in a timely manner – do we allow them to see us taking care of our own responsibilities in a timely manner?

If we want our children to interact with others in a respectful way, do they see us doing the same? Or do they hear us yelling in traffic, using bad language, or interacting with one another in a less than respectful way?

We need to consistently model the values and expectations we expect of our children. As a parent myself, I know that this is much easier said than done! But I strongly believe that our greatest responsibility is to raise our children with integrity, which means aligning words, intentions, and actions. If we expect them to behave or speak differently than our example shows them, they are aware of the inconsistency- yes, even our youngest children know when we don’t do what we say! It may seem like our children are unaware of our actions, words, and tone, but in truth, we are teaching them on a daily basis through what we say and what we do.

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348
 

The Joys of Our Tweens and Teens

Back in 2005, when the first mainstream information came out regarding new understandings of adolescent brain development, I became very interested and conducted as much second-source research as I could. At that point in my career, I had worked mostly with adolescents, and I knew a thing or two about their behavior. I was fascinated by this scientific research that clarified what was going on inside their brains, and that directly supported much of my experience.

But this was back when my own children were still young. My interactions with adolescents were not those of parent-to-child, but of educator/therapist-to-child. Even though it was some years away, I knew that when my own children hit the pre-teen/teen stage, I would be in for my own challenges. Boy was I right.

Over the past year or so, it has not been uncommon for my son to interrupt a conversation with “Mom, you are SO annoying” and stomp off to his bedroom. This scene has been almost comical at times, but irritating and obnoxious nonetheless. I was unprepared for the surge of anger I feel when he looks me straight in the eye and says flatly “No” to a request I have made. And I knew he would be disorganized, but didn’t clearly work out how this would impact my life…until I was leaving the house late at night to purchase forgotten supplies or when I was talking to teacher (again) about forgotten homework.

Then this past weekend, I read some new articles and had a few experiences that reminded me that this adolescent time of life (which many of us parents, if we’re being honest, are grateful to have survived ourselves) is not all bad. In fact, it’s extremely important to understand and embrace the complexities and nuances that set it apart from all the other stages of our lives.

 The first article I came across was a National Geographic article, simply and aptly entitled “Teenage Brains.” This beautifully photographed piece explores how many of the behaviors we tend to view as problematic and worrisome in adolescents (impulsiveness, risk-taking, thrill-seeking, etc), may actually be outward signs of the brain’s adaptive restructuring as children move from “the safety of home into the complicated world outside.” The author, David Dobbs, recounts and summarizes an extensive NIH brain-scan study of adolescent development in accessible terms: “Our brains undergo a massive reorganization between our 12th and 25th years. The brain doesn't actually grow very much…but as we move through adolescence, the brain undergoes extensive remodeling, resembling a network and wiring upgrade.”

This strikes me as an important insight, as it helps us parents place within a more scientific and rational context some of the seemingly erratic, impulsive, and even thoughtless behaviors that can drive us so crazy. The article suggests we consider these changes taking place in our adolescents’ brains as a kind of “neural gawkiness—an equivalent to the physical awkwardness teens sometimes display while mastering their growing bodies.”

A few days later, I read a piece on the Parenting website called “The 6 Best Things about Tweens” that highlighted some of the more wonderful aspects of having an early adolescent in the family. These include a maturing sense of humor, more help around the house, and increasingly interesting and complex conversations. The author also offers a nice combination of helpful advice and commonsense reminders on how to maximize these positive situations.

And then I had some wonderful interactions with my own children, who are now sliding into this magical mystery tour called adolescence. Uncharacteristically, my 10-year-old daughter volunteered to go grocery shopping with me last Saturday morning (okay, fine—so I lured her with shoe-shopping first)! We had a great time roaming the aisles and picking out snacks for the week—many of which I had no idea she would like—and she even helped carry everything to the car. When we got home, my 13-year-old son asked if we could make cookies together…and somehow, while we were rolling out the dough, we all started tossing lines back and forth from Monty Python and Bill Cosby. After we cleaned up (together!), we sat down and listened to a Bill Cosby recording (together!).

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that tears were running down my face from laughing so hard. Something about the surprise, relief, and pleasure of enjoying these intimate moments with my children—who are increasingly insistent upon their own independence— touched me, and it reminded me of what a special and complex time this must be for burgeoning young adult minds.

So for this weekend at least, I forgot about the moodiness, arguments, forgetfulness, etc. that have impacted my kids and my relationships with them; instead, I welcomed the chance to enjoy the helpful, clever, and hilarious people they are so quickly becoming.

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348
 

Why are Preschool and Elementary Educational Experiences So Important?

The longer I am involved in preschool and elementary education, the more I am convinced that our efforts with young students are among the most important and long-lasting. Recently a colleague sent me a link to a New York Times article that bolsters my own philosophy: that investing time, focus, and money in our children’s earliest years of schooling is crucial to their continued academic and life-long success.

In their first years of school, children establish their self-identity as learners. Based on their experiences with challenging situations and new information, as well as the feedback they receive from adults and their peers, they decide—in the most basic sense—whether they are “good students” …or not.

If a student decides, because the school-work is confusing, boring, not connected to his experience of the world, etc., that he is a bad student, or that school is not relevant to him, then this concept of self and school will be difficult to change later in life, no matter how good his middle or high school may be. If, on the other hand, a young student is convinced that he is capable, shown that he is valued, and invited to engage in meaningful work every day at school, he will carry this concept of self and school with him into each new environment. Students who are ready and excited to engage in the activities of school can jump right into those pursuits, without first having to wrestle with the decision of whether school is important to them or not.

Preschoolers participating in a balls and ramps science unit

Routines of mind and body also begin to solidify at a very young age. We all know how hard it can be to break bad habits and learn new ones as we get older! When young students learn the habits of paying attention when others are talking, taking turns, managing frustration, being patient and flexible when solving problems, reading quietly for extended periods (the list goes on and on), these skills propel them to be productive learners in the future, both inside and outside of the classroom.  Meanwhile, the child who fails to develop and value such habits is at a disadvantage.  Her future teachers will need to devote valuable instructional time to dealing with and correcting behaviors in order to teach basic learning skills.

So how do we help students gain a positive self-concept of themselves as learners and develop productive habits of mind and body? For starters, small class sizes are a must, in my opinion. Teachers need to be able to get to know students in-depth, to become intimately aware of their interests, skills, strengths and weaknesses. This is a crucial step toward ensuring that every student feels valued and understood. Small class sizes also allow teachers to respond to individual learning abilities in order to challenge each student appropriately.

Another issue is the ability of schools to build and teach curricula that are relevant and developmentally appropriate for the community they serve. Small and independent schools have the flexibility to tailor their programming to meet the needs of their particular students. National standards help frame skills that are essential for every learner to master, but teachers and administrators need the autonomy to determine the best ways to ensure that each student will be able to apply these skills in real life. 

Finally, I believe that the most successful schools pay attention to—and intentionally program for—the development of social and emotional skills. Large institutions charged with meeting stringent testing requirements have little time to spend on character development and social skills practice… and too often, the time that is spent in these pursuits becomes another token exercise in covering, rather than internalizing, ideas that are essential to personal growth.

These are just some of the reasons I believe that a positive, carefully designed early educational program is vital to students’ future success. When parents ask me why they should spend money on a private elementary education, as opposed to saving for high school or college, these are the reasons I give. Our own students are both witness and testimony to the efficacy of our programs; they move easily and successfully into a variety of educational environments when they leave us, including public schools as well as small and large private schools. It is with pride and excitement that I watch them charge forward, driven by the positive concept of self and school that is a direct result of their experiences at Seneca Academy.

Seneca Academy
15601 Germantown Road
Darnestown, Maryland 20874
Phone: (301) 869-3728
Fax: (301) 869-3348